she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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