I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
