Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
