She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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