the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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