physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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