So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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