It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
