She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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