he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
