if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm at about main and main street
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
