i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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