i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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