My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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