Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize