This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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