Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Randomize
