I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's blow job season.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
