god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
