Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
