I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i think my cat just said my name.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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