A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Randomize