The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
