worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
