guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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