You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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