I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
