What a fucking waste of an outfit
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize