i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Come see our sink grown plant.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize