operation have a gay friend backfired
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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