I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
bring money and cleavage
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
