all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
