Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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