never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
