he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
