I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
