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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk

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• (305): View more from Florida

  he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"

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• (917): View more from New York City

  giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...

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• (980): View more from North Carolina

  My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  That's all I've ever wanted.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Happy you have kids and I don't day!

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.

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• (289): View more from Ontario

  i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.

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