feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
this hospital has no fireball
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
