the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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