i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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