We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
God, I missed his penis.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
