Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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