It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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