New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
you never un-have a 4some
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
