Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize