My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
