oh god the rape fog is back!
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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