either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
