All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Pants are for mortals
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
