xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
