70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
