I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
