You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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