So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
