How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
