Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
