Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
