I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize