I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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