So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm bleeding and have questions
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
