There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
