i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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