Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
