I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
