I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
